Personal Diaries for the better me

 Got a new job... moved from being a content writer to a copywriter... Despite the fact that I am not getting to sleep in the afternoons, I am enjoying attending all the standups... while there are not much contribution that I am going to make in the Meet, I am still happy. Thanks Ganga for pushing me to upload my resume in Linkedin. ... I still remember her asking what PAN India is :)  The laptop that I am using now is what my husband(!) got for me.... Last two days, I am not in terms with him and I am very scared now that he would not not give me that system anytime he wishes too.. In that case, what will do.... should i be happy that I have a job now or now added it to my woes that he will now black mail with the same... same goes with phone... What if he calls everyone from office... Ma, m so scared ma... Dhiya has just started patching with her dad... what if he shows her the anger again and spoilher childhood... When will my mother in law stop bothering us in terms of mo...

Thank you God for keeping all my dear ones safe and sound. The man got diwali dresses for my kids. Thank you so much for they experienced plantarium, fine dining, and some shopping. So, he got my five kurtas and thinks he can win over. Never! I am not here for your money. Please grow up. Happy for the plain black kurta though. And the usual gyaan for me .... You cannot control what he does.... Please keep your mind decluttered for you wellbeing. See you all tomorrow. Good night!

Flashbacks.... When you were a pampered child before marriage and have a messed up life now, reliving my childhood days are the best ways to fuel my agony now :P Never in my entire days of working, have my parents asked me what I do with the money earned nor have I asked them permission before lending as loan to any of my acquitances. So, today, I had to submit my bank statement to prove him that all his money is used for running the house and that I am not lying.... But that's okay, it is his money after all..... Stay strong, dear girl.....

That's a great thing that my husband is so merciful about my maid and he gives her 2000 rs to support her financially and that is courtous enough to ask her about her husband. But the same man is not bothered about taking dresses for diwali or buying crackers for my kids even.... When I tried to remind him, you have already taken for the elder one.    That was a kurta Material of mine lying in the cupboard for more than 2 years... Even in that case, you haven't thought of taking dresses for our younger one  No point how merciful and empathetic you are to people outside, you will show your anger, beat us and break the things in our house.   Every time, you say that I am making you angry, thank you for reminding me that I should not talk to you.

Its okay if he doesn't to gym After ll, his money, his body ... But the wya he tortures you at night by checking your phone, forcing you to sleep, shouting is not acceptable at all .. but that's okay.. you can't help what he does to you.... Stya strong ... Stay strong maama for Achu and dhiya ... Om Shakthi om... Everything is going to be fine.... Go and cook for Achu n dew. He doesn't deserve so much attention... Flush him off your mind nd start the day.....

1. It is okay if your husband talks worse about you to his relatives. 2. It is okay if he keeps telling that he is a good man while you know how mean he can get. 3. It is okay if he doesn't prioritize me. 4. It is okay if he transfersbmoney to others while getting you a rice cooker/ a watchl a dress for diwali / or crackers for kids is no where is his sense. 5. It is okay if he tries to provoke you. 6. It is okay to be treated like a maid. Afterall, he earns and you deserve to be treated like this. 7. It is okay if he hold you tight saying he is changing while you know his integrity is always questionable  8. It is okay he speaks ill of you right infront of your space. 9. It is okay if he says and thinks that money is what all I am bothered about. 10. It is okay to accept whatever happens just because there is no love between us. 11. What I couldn't change in the last decade in going to change in the coming years either. Please grow up n start accepting. 12. Dear girl, you are ...