Personal Diaries for the better me

 Ma... I am unable to sleep.... I am irritated with everything he does.... simply cant even see him....  To you my husband... Why would would just stop using me for sex.... even if it is fever, you would your hands under my inners to check temperature... and you think you are checking temperature... do the hell you know what i think of you... cant you even keep your hands off when i am unwell... yes, I dont have interest in sex.... and sec with a man whose tummy is 2 feet away from his body? For some reason, I just cant... And do you know, i just cant bear men snoring so loud even in train! and you ! snore and fart so loudly and ask me a hundred times, why i am not sexually into you..... Yes, I am not into sex that too oral sex, handjobs, blowjobs, yuck yuck yuck... But I have a dream man... Oh yeah I am serious, I do have... I am just 34 and my hormones are still there if not active... Every morning, I wake up, I see sleeping besides my me or kids sleeping flat chested and si...

 Got a new job... moved from being a content writer to a copywriter... Despite the fact that I am not getting to sleep in the afternoons, I am enjoying attending all the standups... while there are not much contribution that I am going to make in the Meet, I am still happy. Thanks Ganga for pushing me to upload my resume in Linkedin. ... I still remember her asking what PAN India is :)  The laptop that I am using now is what my husband(!) got for me.... Last two days, I am not in terms with him and I am very scared now that he would not not give me that system anytime he wishes too.. In that case, what will do.... should i be happy that I have a job now or now added it to my woes that he will now black mail with the same... same goes with phone... What if he calls everyone from office... Ma, m so scared ma... Dhiya has just started patching with her dad... what if he shows her the anger again and spoilher childhood... When will my mother in law stop bothering us in terms of mo...